Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
Randomize
