I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize
