Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
I am naked and annoyed.
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
Randomize
