So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Randomize
