WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
vagina is talking i cant
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
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