Its about making memories worth repressing
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Randomize
