carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
Randomize
