I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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