I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
