I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
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