i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
You left your underwear on the fireplace
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
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