Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
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