theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
Randomize
