It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Randomize
