Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
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It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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