True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
Randomize
