put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
Randomize
