I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
Randomize
