what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
