you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
Randomize
