Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
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