forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
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