Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Randomize
