we have pet lesbian snakes
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
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