Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
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