I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
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