Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
My balls are so social today.
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
Randomize
