so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Randomize
