I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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