you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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