dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize
