I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Randomize
