In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize