I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
Randomize
