dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize
