dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
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