Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
Randomize
