the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
we're chasing vodka with high fives
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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