I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Randomize
