When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
Randomize
