Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
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