id be glad to
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Randomize
