i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
