Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
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