her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
You can't motorboat a personality
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
Randomize
