my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
Randomize
