His pubic hair was longer than his dick
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
We need a shit load of segways right now
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
Randomize
