i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
Randomize
