I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
Randomize
