Cold hands, warm shart.
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Randomize
