You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
Randomize
