He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
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