My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Randomize
