Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
im calling her cock vulture from now on
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
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