Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
Randomize
