woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
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