great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
Randomize
