There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Randomize
