We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Randomize
