I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
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