He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
Randomize
