So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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