He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
Randomize
