I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
Randomize
