and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
Randomize
