You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
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