So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
Randomize
